What does it mean to be blessed?

I am often saying to people, "God bless you" or "have a blessed New Year."  Today God has led me to reflect on what I mean by this, as well as how those I say it to might interpret it.

In Western society we have distorted the meaning of being bless as having good fortune, getting what we desire, or living in comfort.  We are so accustomed to wealth and a life of relative ease (in comparison to most of the world) that we have developed an incredibly low tolerance for pain and even inconvenience.  

Few of us feel blessed in 2020 due to the inconvenience and uncertainty imposed on us by the Covid pandemic.  Our lives as we have known and liked them have drastically changed.  We find ourselves frustrated, fearful and filled with discontent.  Yet, for some of us, 2020 has been a year of great blessing and we have learned to be quiet, be alone with God, and begin to understand what it means to live with God's favor.

I have learned this distinction living in a country of extreme poverty, among people who have very little in the way of material possessions, comfort, or convenience, yet believe themselves (correctly) to be greatly blessed by God.  It is this Biblical blessing I wish for you this coming year.

In searching for the meaning of being blessed, I first, of course, look to Scripture.  The passage in the Bible where the word "blessed" is used most frequently is found in the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus himself tells us what it means to be blessed.  Careful examinations of this Scripture shows me just how much I have distorted the meaning of being blessed, exchanging it for temporal comforts and pleasures, and forsaking the offer of those things which last for eternity.

Seldom to I wish for others to be "poor in spirit," "persecuted for the sake of righteousness," "mourn," or live as one who is "meek." But these are who, along with the merciful, those who long for justice and peace, and remain pure of heart in a world of darkness, are those who are called "Blessed" by Jesus.  (Matt. 5: 3-10). 

He goes on to say, "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me." (Matt. 5:11)   How can I wish these things for those I love and care for?  But isn't this exactly what Jesus is saying we should see to be and desire to have present in our lives? 

How can any of these things make me "happy" (a word often used to demonstrate the meaning of blessed)?  

Don't we often used the word "blessed" to refer to those good things in life which we do not deserve,  and identifying these things as signs of God's love for us?  The problem with this is that the things of the "good life" can make us self-sufficient and proud, depending on ourselves while giving lip-service to the provision of God in our lives.  The more I have in terms of material possessions, the more I seem to "need" just a "little bit more."  

Can God give us good gifts materially?  Of course.  He gives us these things, though, as a means of serving Him.  We are blessed so we can bless others, not accumulate more for ourselves.  This was the challenge Jesus posed to the rich young ruler in the Gospel (Matt. 19:21).  It would seem that his possessions are precisely what kept him from following Jesus.  This too can happen to us when we are comfortable and secure in our lives in this world.  Perhaps this is why Jesus spends so much time in the Beatitudes to teach us what it means to be blessed spiritually, and eternally.

Blessed does not mean we will be comfortable, or secure.  Rather, Jesus promises us that if we embrace the life style He identifies in the Sermon on the Mount that we all be shown mercy, comforted, and filled with good things.  We will inherit not only the earth but the kingdom of God, and be privileged to be call children of God.  We will become holy, and more like Him.

This, then, is what I wish for you.  To be blessed with all the blessings promised by Jesus, and experience the satisfaction of growing closer to Him daily.  This can be done, regardless of our circumstances, if we set our heart of the things of God.  

May you be blessed and be a blessing to others.

Liberation from my disappointment

 My wish for you for 2021 is liberation from the disappointment of 2020.  I wish you the ability to forgive “the reality of 2020” for all the things you perceive it has robbed you of and look for the transformation God has brought about through challenging our life-styles.

There are many disappointments which want to carry themselves over from 2020 into the new year. 

 

Of course, the pandemic is the first that comes to mind and the fears we have associated with it.  Whether it is fear that this is a conspiracy of a shadow government, and attempt to control people by use of masks and quarantine, a fear of contracting the virus itself, or the fear of what is happening to the economy because of the shut-down, we need to let them go.  None of this surprised our all-powerful God, and I have to trust that He will make all things work together for our good if we love Him and surrender and follow the purpose for which He created us.  I need to trust in His love for me, and allow His perfect love to cast out fear of the effects of the past and the possibilities of the future.

 

I have stubbornly refused to use the term the “new normal” because I won’t embrace the way we are having to live right now as the way we will live in the future.  I prefer “inter-rim normal” as it indicates we are in a time of transition.  I doubt we will ever return to the life-style we lived prior to 2020, but I trust that the “normal” we are creating for the future will be passed through God’s hands.  I may not like it, but I will surrender to it—since really all my fears, complaints and arguments will change nothing . My self-focus only leads me into a self-preservation stance which serves to harden my heart toward those I am called to love.

 

The election of 2020 was another major disappointment, no matter which side of the aisle you choose to sit on.  One of the telling “disappointments” for me was watching the first debate with some of our staff who, shocked at the disrespectful behavior of the candidates asked me, “These are the people who run your country?”  I can find little to respect in the campaign, election, or transition of 2020.  I also find little to respect in the way many of us Christ-followers have responded to these situations.  So the election has produced a deep disappointment in me.

 

I am disappointed by the lack of fellowship forced on us by the closing of churches, the halt of meeting in Bible Studies and just the fun activities of being part of the Body of Christ.  Some feel that this is destroying the church.  Perhaps God is using these times to transform the His church. 

 

Rather than relying on a pastor to “feed” me, as an adult, I am forced to feed myself on the Word, and disciple those under my authority, whether they be children, employees, or residents.  I can no longer give over to the institution of the church those things which are required of me as a member of the church.  

 

Fellowship has looked different for me this year. The organizational fellowship fostered by the institutional church has enabled me to take little responsibility for the fellowship of believers beyond just showing up.  I have been forced outside of my comfort zone to reach out to people to connect with them on a more intimate level than ever before.  I may have fellowshipped with fewer believers during the shut-down, but the encounters I have had have been richer and more meaningful—have been more life giving—than any group activities I have attended in churches.  I am grateful for Zoom and Facebook Video Messenger which have given me the ability to see those I reach out to, whether in Guatemala or far away.  

 

I am sorely disappointed in the way the pandemic has affected those who are most vulnerable: children, the elderly, the homeless, those with disabilities.  The structures of government, social services, education and even the church have failed to care for those who are easily forgotten.  Again, though, I see how, as a society, we have handed over to institutions those responsibilities which rightfully belong to families and to the Body of Christ.  I have personally been challenged to find new and creative ways of reaching out to these disenfranchised groups.  It is much harder to do now, it requires more of me personally, but it is not impossible.  I am learning how to die to myself, to my own comfort, to serve those around me.

 

I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.  

 

But:  

 

”What if the challenges of the current moment are actually offering us an invitation to let go of our ideas of freedom and mobility and to consciously participate with reality in a new way?” ~~Richard Rohr

 

Can you consider this for just one moment?  Will you open yourself to the possibility that God is calling us to die to our ideas of what life should be and live in the moment of the life that IS?

 

Please don’t think I am asking you to ignore the disappointments you have suffered at the hands of 2020.  Far from it.  I am asking you to join me in acknowledging the disappointments, feel their pain, lament them to the Father, and surrender 2021 to His good pleasure.  I am asking you to no longer hold on to the hurts of 2020, but embrace with hope what the Lord has for you in 2021, trusting that His heart toward you is good.

 

Happy New Year!  Let’s make it the best year yet.

 

Christmas Cookies as privilege

Note, the pictures from Guatemala in this article are from a Facebook post by a fellow missionary, Lydia Renáe de Ramos.  Her photos and reflections convicted me today.

Today I started the 2020 Great Cookie Bake-off for our ministry here in Guatemala.  

It has become tradition to have cookie decorating parties in each of the homes, with invited guests.  Sadly, this year it will only be our staff and residents in attendance.  While many seem to forget the threat of Covid, it is very real when working with people with weakened physical stamina like the disabled.  But we will make the best of it.

First come the sugar cookies so they are ready to frost.  As I was finishing up the first batch to put in the refrigerator, I was inwardly grumbling that I miss my dishwasher, and hate having to do all this clean up alone (though I know Dani's wife, Rosi, would be here in a heartbeat to help if I asked her).

Suddenly I was stopped short, convicted by my unconscious addiction to the privilege I have taken for granted as someone who has lived primarily in the US.  This is not to say that I did not work hard for what I had, but my work paid off in the ability to live in luxury compared to most of the world.  

I still do--live in unconscious luxury that is.  Just this morning I shared a post on Facebook written by a missionary who attends our church here.  It was about helping build a home for her neighbor. (You can read her post here--well worth your time.)  It was a reminder of how much we have as people of wealth in comparison to the rest of the world.  And within an hour, I forgot this conviction, and was complaining about having to wash dishes by hand, in my kitchen sink, with hot and cold running water.  

While my kitchen is not elegant by US standards, I have a stove (with an oven) and refrigerator.  These are luxuries in Guatemala and I never want to forget this.  I live in privilege.  I also have the resources to buy the ingredients, a Kitchen-aid mixer (bought 2nd hand from a missionary leaving the field) to mix the batter, and an electric oven (gifted to me by another missionary moving back to the US) to bake in which is even self-cleaning.

For the 57 years I lived in the US, I never thought any of these things were luxuries, but absolute necessities (and throw in the benefit of a dishwasher on top of that).  I had visited empoverished countries on mission trips, but somehow had missed letting these experiences change my perspective and my heart. 

If you are reading this on your smart phone or computer, you ARE privilged in comparison to the majority of the world.  This does not mean you do not work hard to have what you have but that your work has paid off in providing things for you that most of the world does not even know exists or can only dream of if they do. It does not mean we should feel guilty for the good things God has given us. It does mean we need to remember that He gives to us not to make us rich but so we can share with those who have needs.

Still not convinced?  Look at these comparisons of my kitchen with the original home of the lady who received a new home in the post above.  

           Flory's original kitchen sink

     Yes, she's using a stick to clean the pan

       Sponges and soap are luxuries here

                                           Flory's "stove"--a fire pit              

Now, here a a few glimpse of her new home for comparison.

          Enjoying her new kitchen sink

                                                        Her new wood burning stove

 

Authentic Thanksgiving

 "Happy Thanksgiving!"  How many times will we say this today?  Think about it, though.  Do we really consider what this means?  

To say "Happy Thanksgiving" has become no more than a social ritual by which we unthinkingly greet each other during late November.  It has the potential, though, to be so much more.  Done thoughtfully, Thanksgiving has the power to change us.

Another word for thankfulness is gratitude, which comes from the Latin (and Spanish) word "gratis"  which means "free."  So what does gratitude have to do with freedom?

When we are grateful we realize that all we have has been freely given to us by the God who created us and loves us.  Sure, we may have worked hard for what we have, but we need to remember who provides the resources for our work.  The things we use in our work all, in essence, come from creation.  Not one of us has the power to speak anything into existence.  We all rely on something which exists as the basis of our work.  We only build upon what God has given us.

Even our "intellectual" work depends on concrete items for its expression.  Then, too, we need to remember Who gives us the intellect, ability and strength to work at all.  Our very life itself is a gift freely given to us by the Father who loves us.

To be thankful is to recognize that I don't deserve what I have, and have a responsibility to share what I have with others.  To give freely as it has been given to me.  Pretty counter cultural, huh?

A second way in which thanksgiving (gratitude) frees us is to break the chains of anxiety, worry, stress which so strongly bind us in the 21st Century.  When I contemplate why I am thankful, realizing that all I have and all I am is a free gift from my Father, when I seriously and consciously recall all He has done for me throughout my life, I realize that I have nothing about which to be concerned.  God does not change.  He Who has been faithful in my past will be no less faithful in my future.  God's got this (whatever it is that causes you stress).  Thankfulness helps us not only to believe this, but to find the freedom that comes from experiencing it.

Can I encourage you today to make Thanksgiving more than a holiday ritual, but to begin today to make gratitude a way of life?  I know this is my goal.

So, when I say Happy Thanksgiving to you today, I will recall how blessed I am that God has brought you into my life.  I will be grateful for how you impact me and our ministry.  I will praise God for you and your very existence, and the fact that you choose to be my friend.  You make my life richer, and I don't deserve (gratis) all that you are to me.

So:

Happy Thanksgiving!

To love without expectations

What COVID has taught me

A few years ago I was in a relationship with a person who, in my opinion, was difficult to love.  I prayed repeatedly that God would allow me to love them as He did, but seemed to get nowhere.  Finally, I asked God, “How would you have me love her/him?”  Immediately the answer came: “without expectation.”

I realized that much of my frustration in this relationship was that the other was not acting as I thought they should.  I had set standards for them to meet which were not mine to set.  I was not called to improve them, I was called to love them. No more, no less.

Did this realization make the relationship easier/healthier/more fulfilling? Not really. What this insight did was significantly decrease my frustration, which in turn made me more accepting and patient—more able to respond to their needs without worrying about my own needs being met.  In short, it made me more loving.

I’d love to say that the relationship blossomed into a close life long friendship, but that has not been the case.  To preserve my own spiritual and mental health I have needed to set firm boundaries, but, rather than impede the friendship, these limits have freed me to be able to respond lovingly to this individual when the need arises.

All this is only background to what God is revealing to me about my relationship with Him.  How many times am I dissatisfied with my life because it is not living up to my expectation of what it would be?  Unconsciously, I think this sometimes leads me to resent the life God has given me, since it is not what I expected. 

You see, I believe God loves me without expectations.  Before anyone says we are called to righteousness before a Holy God, let me say I agree. But to make His love dependent on my righteousness is a lie that comes straight from my enemy. Even as we sing, “Just As I Am,” we put expectations on His response to us coming to Him.  Yes, I am broken, but if You love me I will do better.  We don’t really experience His radical love for us, just as we are.  His invitation to righteousness is not to make us good enough to be loved by Him, but to lead us into the glorious life He has promised us.  His love is without expectation.

So what does this mean in light of what we are experiencing with the COVID crisis?  I believe most of my current unsettledness (frustration?) comes from the fact that I am not able to, at this point, live the life I expected to have.  We cannot travel (at least those of us in Guatemala can’t) freely. We can only drive our cars on certain days.  At my age, I can’t go into the market and I am denied entry into some of the few stores which remain open. I cannot teach or spend time in our homes, since I am the one out and about in the community, providing transportation and getting what we need. I spend much of my time alone.  I cannot live my life as I think I deserve. Life is not living up to my expectations and I struggle daily to not surrender to resentment over what I cannot do and do not have.

Visiting our women from a "safe" distance

I came to Guatemala to work at a large orphanage with children with disabilities.  Our ministry to those with additional needs has grown beyond what I had ever expected, and it is scary to be responsible for all of this.  It was more than I expected, but somehow, I managed to adapt.

Now, we once again have “retooled” our ministry to meet the most pressing needs around us.  I hadn’t planned this, and was/am not prepared for this.

Suddenly, without my asking, donations were coming in as I shared the great need for food for the poor who were suffering from the shut down of much of the country.  

Really, God?  Really?  This isn’t in our mission statement.  This isn’t what our ministry was started for.  Really, You now want me to start giving away food?  I have had no idea how to do this.  

We started “small” and “safe,” giving out food to the elderly in collaboration with the social services of the town when our women’s house is located.

We partnered with the national police in our town, asking them to take food to those we knew needed it, even after curfew hours.

Our staff took food to the people in their home communities they knew to be in the most desperate need.

And, as I shared what we were doing, more donations came in.  In the past two days, we have given out over 1000 lbs. of beans, rice, and a fortified hot drink to over 200 families from the doorway of my home.

I have had to learn how to purchase large quantities of100 lb. bags of beans and rice, (as well as manage donations of these from other ministries) and the bags to pack them in.

I have enlisted the guys from Casa de Esperanza to pack beans and rice, and the staff (along with Moises) have been pressed into service helping to give food as people come. 

I have ineptly tried to figure out how to get the food to those who need it—and God has brought so many people to the door of my home that we have had to have sign ups and assign hours to come to receive food. I am doing things I have never done and are beyond my capabilities.  

In my heart of hearts, I found myself saying to God, “This isn’t what I signed up for.  This isn’t what I expected my life serving you to be like.  This is too much.”

As I said this, I recognized that much of my unrest, discomfort and unsettled feeling was because God wasn’t living up to my expectations of Him.  My God has been too small, too safe, too comfortable.  I had not “surrendered all” because I still had expectations of what it was okay, and not okay, for Him to ask me to do.

Now, moving forward, I will love Him without expectation, and repent when I don’t.  I will surrender ALL, especially my future, to how He is working in my midst and inviting me to join Him in doing.  Since our God always does more than we can ask or imagine, I can’t wait to see what He will do when I stop limiting Him with my expectations.  Care to join me?

Heal our land. . .

Today in my prayer time (Sunday, May 24), God led me to a passage that I have often prayed over the United States and Guatemala, 2 Chron. 7:14.

“If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

A beautiful prayer but I fear I have misused it too often, taken it out of the context of Scripture and directed it towards others, rather than myself.  Today I was convicted that this is directed toward ME, not those “out there” who do not know Christ, and who do not recognize their sin.  Toward me, who “proudly” wears the title of Christ-follower--yet fail to recognize my personal sin and the ways in which I contribute to communal sinfulness.

I realized:

The context:  This was written when Solomon was dedicating the temple.  It was the promise of God to His people at the time of one of their greatest victories—the completion of the house of God.  It was given as the “remedy” to difficult times.  Verse 13 is important to understand the passage correctly.  It says:  “When I shut heaven so there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send plague to my people. . .”

Application:  This fits our times better than at almost any time in my life.  

The drought we have experienced for years here in Guatemala, especially in the northern part of the country, and the hunger it has produced. The pandemic, which may be on the downturn in the US, but is still spiking here in Guatemala.  The “promise” of hordes of cicadas hatching, which cannot help but affect agriculture.  Yes, this promise of God fits our situation well.

The audience: 
“If my people, who are called by my name.”  
This is not for those outside the body of Christ.  It is directed toward me, telling me what I must do if I want to see God heal our land.  Too often I have prayed this over those who support abortion on demand, over prostitution and human trafficking, over those who would ignore God completely.  And I was wrong.  I am to claim and pray this verse over myself and the church.  And ask God to empower us not to change society, but to change ourselves, since this is what the verse commands us to do.

The mandate:

will humble themselves 

How many times have I thanked God that I am not like “those sinners out there?”  That I am chosen by Him, dedicated to Him, serving Him—doing the “right things.”  Have I asked Him to lead them to repentance, when I should be asking Him to reveal my sinfulness to me.

Has this attitude of “we Christians are better people than those who do not follow Christ invaded my subconscious and reflected itself in the way I have treated those outside the body?  What does this say about the true condition of my heart?  IT IS PRIDEFUL.  It gives me the glory, when the glory is due to Him who saved me without my efforts.  Who does not need me to reach the fallen world, but chooses to use me to reflect His love, His compassion, and yes, His justice, to those who are far from Him.

This realization of my own sinfulness and my desperate need for His forgiveness should humble me.  Should destroy the “us/them” mentality which has invaded the church and reminds me that: “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

and pray

What does it mean to pray?  Is it doing devotions, Bible study, reciting a list of petitions?  

I am not a scholar or an expert on prayer, but from observing myself and others, I fear that we have made prayer a practice rather than a pleasure.  

Think of it.  When I pray I consciously enter the presence of the Lord God, Creator of the Universe; my Creator, my Redeemer and my Sanctifier.  The fact that I can do this is incredible; should fill me with awe and excitement. I fear too often I treat it as as chore.

And what does it mean for me to pray?  The definition I learned in my childhood, from the Catholic catechism we had to memorize, still is my favorite.  Prayer is “lifting the mind and heart to God.”  However I do that.  Simple as that.  No formula, no books, no rituals, sometimes no words.  A friend of mine talks about taking time to enjoy God.  To become aware of His presence which is always around me.  To step into a holy moment when I surrender my mind and heart to the One who created it so He can heal, renew, empower and direct it.

How often do I make it an exercise rather than a relationship?  I need to consider how I pray.

and seek my face

This one is harder for me to describe, since I am not a Bible scholar.  But Jesus gives me a hint of what this is when He tells me if I pray in His name, my prayers will be answered.  This is not tacking on “in the name of Jesus” at the beginning or end of my prayer, but sincerely, humbly and fearlessly asking Him to show me HIS will, not mine.  Then surrendering my heart to that will.  

Can I disagree with His will?  Absolutely.  I think Jesus did just that in the Garden of Gethsemane.  He also showed me what to do when I disagree—to share my heart and thoughts with God.  And rarely, as in the case of granting more life to Hezekiah, God will grant my wishes.  More often, though, He will change my heart to submit to His wisdom.

Do I really seek God’s face? 

And turn from their wicked ways

I often think of the great sins of abortion, adultery, violence, racism and hatred which plague our countries when I pray this.  Today I am convicted that these are not the things which need to change for my land to be healed, but my own sinfulness, which while less dramatic, is just as wicked.

What are the idols I hold?  What are those things I strive for in place of striving to bring God glory?  I have often said that the idols of the United States are pridefulness, comfort and convenience, and I still believe this is so.  I think most of our sins can fall under one of these three headings.

What this pandemic and the restrictions it has brought has revealed to me how strongly I cling to these idols myself.  Living on the mission field, they are not as obvious as they were when I was still in the States, but oh, they are there.

Here we are under extremely stringent restrictions.  As I write this, we are under 64 hours of lockdown here in Guatemala, where all businesses are closed, and we are forbidden to leave our homes.  And how I want to rebel, because I’m not sure it will do any good in halting the spread of Covid-19.  In fact, I fear it may worsen the situation when the country once again opens on Monday morning.  But, in reality, what am I basing my opinion on?  I am not a scientist.  I am not as statistician.  I am not even someone who understand systems and how they work.  

But, living in a free country, I have a RIGHT to my opinion and to express it.  Legally I do.  Biblically, I’m not so sure.  For me, sharing my analysis based on my relative ignorance, is exhibiting my pride in my insight and intelligence.  Better than publishing my own opinion, I need to accept those situations over which I really have no control, and ask God to inspire and direct those who do.  And my objection to masks is that they are uncomfortable and inconvenient.  See how it all ties together.

(BTW, this does not mean I have to blindly submit to those things I believe are harmful.  For example, the penalty for not wearing a mask in public here is $1000.  That does not mean I have to wear a mask if I truly believe it is harmful.  I can choose to stay home.  I can go out without a mask and be willing to pay the fine.  I still have freedom.  What I don’t have is freedom from consequences).

then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin 

When we recognize our own sin—current sin, daily sin, then He will forgive us and hear our cries for help.  I’m not talking here about the issue of forgiveness for salvation.  Many believe this is once and done and I can’t disagree.  I am talking about the daily need to hear Him say that even though I fall short way too often, He still loves me, accepts me, says that I am His. This is the daily repentance and forgiveness that brings me sanctification.

and will heal their land

Today I notice that He says “their land” not “my land.” I realized God does not value the US any more than He values Guatemala or Iran. He does not place a higher value on US citizens than He does the immigrant.  It is arrogance to claim we are a chosen country, that we are more pleasing to Him than others.  We cannot say all sin is equal and cling to this deception.

We, as those who bear His name, need to meet the conditions He sets if we want healing in our land. IF we humble ourselves, pray, turn from our wicked ways and seek his face, He will heal our land.  What this “healing” looks like, I can’t predict.  It will not necessarily be economic prosperity or a return to the normal we knew prior to the pandemic.  Whether we want to admit it our not, our societies have not been healthy.   I can’t demand that He heal our lands to conform with my idea of what a healthy society will look like—there’s that pride again.  I don’t know what living in a healed land involves or requires, but I know it will be good for He who will heal it is good.