Guatemalan Journey

Reflecting on My Time in the States

Every time I travel back to Omaha, I feel just a little bit more like an octagonal peg trying to fit into a round whole.

Sounds strange, I know, but let me try to explain.

When I left the US almost five years ago, I was pretty much, through and through, an American. Though I had had a number of experiences in other cultures, including living for two years on the Rosebud Indian Reservation in South Dakota, I still thought with my middle-class mindset. Training prior to going on the mission field helped me to be aware of these prejudices I held, but I still had them. I am a product of my history. I was a square peg which pretty much fit into the square hole of life and culture in the US.

Shift to Guatemala. I loved the Guatemalan people, their heritage and their culture. That was, after all, why I had moved there. But I found myself surrounded by round pegs. Not that there's anything wrong with round pegs; they're just different. In Guatemala the situations I found myself in were designed to be filled by round, not square pegs. (Sure, there are "square" communities of ex-pats, which even include some missionaries. But that's not why I was here.)

So, what happens when you try to fit a square peg into a round whole? Well, you can reject the process which will reform you, quit trying, and pack up and "go home." Or, you can, through experience after experience, find your rough corners whittled away. You come closer and closer to fitting into the "round hole" of life in another culture. After time, your square peg may have worn away enough so that you can actually fit into the round hole. But there will always be gaps, spaces where you don't quite think the same as the round society in which you live; things you will never really understand, but need to accept.

That seems to be where I find myself now. Not caught between two cultures as I have felt in the past, but formed and shaped by two very different world-views. These two very different life styles no longer compete with each other to be better. I am part of both. And as part of both, I hope to internalize the best of each while at the same time repenting of their worst characteristics. A lofty goal, but one which seems to keep me in a constant state of disequilibrium.

How do you live in this continual sensation of being out of balance? You learn to listen more intently to the voice of the Holy Spirit living within you, to guide your words, actions and decisions. You reach out to those stronger, more experienced around you, to help you catch your balance. And most of the time, you manage to stay upright. More and more often, you find that you can effectively fill one of the "round hole needs" around you, though never completely, and often at personal cost. You learn to love as God loves, without expectation and with a spirit of unconditional acceptance for others. And you are glad to be an "octagon" living in a round society.

Other times it's different. You often stumble and fall, making mistakes, hopefully ones that are not too serious. You apologize and repent, ask forgiveness and learn to move on. You learn that the world, believe it or not, will not end if you err. And maybe you even become a little "rounder" in the process.

You learn not to judge. Not those who live around you and not yourself. You learn that good and bad do not change between cultures--we have the Bible to depend on for that. But you also learn how much of your own understanding of what the Bible says might have been colored by the culture which shaped you. You learn that evil is evil, no matter when you find it, but that often those who do evil are not themselves evil, just lost. And, after all, aren't we here to seek out the lost and lead them to the One who longs to make them whole? You learn the true meanings of the words "grace" and "mercy."

Lord Jesus, let me love others as you do, with grace and mercy that have brought me to repentance. Let them be drawn to you because of my acceptance of them--and never pushed away by my judgment. Get me out of the way, and let them see you in me, and give me the words to explain how I am able to love as I do--because you first loved me.

What do I do in Omaha?

I have to be honest. First and foremost I spend time with my family, especially my grandboys Zach (age 9) and Nate (age 5). I see my kids when I can, but, to be honest, scheduling can be a problem. Jeremy travels much of the time during the week, the bank Mikayla works for just purchased two other banks and she's working too many hours, and Joel works evenings. It seems the one time we get together is to watch Zach play soccer.

This trip was a bit different for me. The friends with whom I stayed were away on a cruise, and I had their whole house, as well as their two cats, all to myself for almost three weeks! After living with three to four young men all year long, it was strange to be rattling around in this big house all by myself. It gave me the peace and quiet I needed to complete my taxes though.

Of course, no trip would be complete without a few lunches and dinners with the friends I have left behind. I especially enjoy and value the friendship of some of the younger women I know, and love spending time with them, even if it's only for a quick lunch.

Much of my time this trip was preparing for our Taste of Guatemala dinner, which was an amazing success. I was also busy spreading the word about the house we are purchasing to provide a permanent residence for Casa de Esperanza. Meeting with life groups from my home church is always a distinct pleasure.

I was so excited, too, to be in Omaha to participate in Westside Church's first Missions' Sunday. Almost twenty ministries supported by the church were represented at tables set up around the worship center. It was wonderful to see long-time friends and meet new people who were interested in the work we are doing. I appreciated getting a chance to meet and get to know some of the members of the Missions' Committee at the church. Their interest and belief in what we are doing has helped us greatly over the years.

I can't begin to sufficiently thank the people who make my time in Omaha so enjoyable. Whether it's a quick cup of coffee, or a place to stay and a car to drive (thank you, Gail and Bo Higgs for letting me crash at your house), I it would be much harder, both physically, emotionally and financially, to spend time in Omaha. It makes this time such a pleasure, and I have come back to Guatemala ready to hit the ground running once again!

A Home for Hope

We have been so very blessed by the house we have been renting for the past two and a half years. Our lease is up in November, and it has become apparent that it is time to purchase our own building.

There are numerous reasons to do this, and I'll share a few:

First and foremost, it seems to be the direction God would have our ministry take at this point.
Owning a facility will provide stability and sustainability for our community living ministry, and provide a permanent base from which to manage our other ministries.
Owning our own facility would decrease our monthly operating costs when the facility is paid off.

It is our desire to buy or build a home debt free, but we recognize that, even if we must take out a mortgage, it is better stewardship of the funds we receive. In the almost five years I have been in Guatemala, our ministry has spent over $55,000 in rent alone. (It's not as inexpensive to live here as one might think--especially when we need a particular type of home to accommodate wheelchairs.)

If we own a building, we can make physical changes to improve wheelchair accessibility, especially to the kitchen and bathroom areas. If we build, we can build to meet our unique needs.
We currently have four young people (two young men and two young women) who would like to leave the institution in which they are living and come to live with us. Our current facility would not accommodate these additional residents.

I have been looking at houses and land with a local realtor, and have been astonished at how expensive land is here in Guatemala. A 20 ft. x 40 ft. land located in a community sells for between $65,000 and $68,000. Land in more rural areas is less expensive, but this isolates our residents from others, and allowing them access to the community in which they live is part of the reason we began our home.

Shortly before I left for the US, I received a call from our realtor, telling me I needed to look at a house she had just seen. This newly constructed single level home has 2000 sq. ft. of living space and has a open concept design which I have never seen in Guatemala. We have made an offer on the house, and are currently waiting to hear back from our realtor. There are two other families interested in buying this property, and, while we were the first to see it, our special financing needs may make another offer look more attractive to the sellers. Update: May 11, 2015: We have made an offer on the house and it has been accepted. We currently have $54,000 toward this purchase, leaving a remaing balance of $116,000 which we need to raise to purchase this home and remain debt free. We take possession of the house in October (when our current lease is up), and have until February, 2016 to make our final payment.

Click here to get more details about this possible purchase,

So, we are praying and waiting for God's will to be done in this situation. We are holding our desires with open hands, knowing if this is not the house for us, God has something better. We are excited to see what that is, wherever it might be. Please join us in praying for His will to be done!

While this purchase has been quite a roller-coaster ride, we trust God is leading us in this direction, and are excited to see what He will do next to enable us to make this purchase! Please continue to pray for us as we move forward.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Eph. 3: 20-21

A Sweet Taste of Guatemala

Causa de Esperanza held its second annual Taste of Guatemala dinner on April 25 at Westside Church in Omaha. This was an amazing night of friendship and fellowship which allowed us to share with our supporters what God has done through our ministry during our almost five years in Guatemala.

The approximately 120 people who attended enjoyed a typical Guatemalan supper of black beans and rice, purchased Guatemalan handicraft items, and raised more than $24,000 for the building fund to purchase a permanent home for Casa de Esperanza, our community living home.

A sincere thank-you to all who prayed for this event, joined with us this night, and especially those who served in any capacity to make this evening happen. I so enjoyed seeing old friends and meeting some new ones. Your generosity through this event left me literally speechless (those who know me can testify that this is a rare occurrence.)