If I've learned anything. . .

 People often ask me what it is like to live on the mission field. I have never known how to respond until today. It is HUMBLING. I have learned how little I understood about myself, the world, and God. Today in my quiet time God put together some ideas that have been rolling around in my head for a while. I am sharing them with my friends not our to condemnation but confession. This is what I have learned, and to not share it with you would be selfish. So here goes. .

Living in Guatemala, I often reflect on the role of culture in shaping my beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, and actions. The longer I am here, the less I am shaped by the culture of the United States, and the more I am shaped by the culture of Latin American, especially the culture of poverty. Yet, I am neither fully “American” (though it is my passport country) nor am I Guatemalan.

Yes, I and grateful to the United States and all the opportunities it has provided me. But I love Guatemala for the way it has opened my eyes to how those same opportunities have blinded me—to the fact that we in the US are not more deserving or superior than those of other nations and that success and material gain have become our idols (how much of the success of a government is measured by the state of the economy, and how much is measured by how Jesus, in the form of the “least of these” is treated?). I learned about Manifest Destiny in school, but never saw it in action until I lived outside of the US. Too many of us think that the United States is now God’s chosen nation.

A nation, including Israel, was not chosen because it was superior to other nations, but chosen because God had a specific purpose for it to fulfill—the coming of the Messiah. If in any way you believe that the US is chosen by God, favored above other nations, stop and ask yourself what God’s purpose for the US might be, and whether or not it is fulfilling it.

We say we “were/are” a Christian country because the nation was founded on Christian principles. I don’t argue that for a minute. But that is Law, Old Testament do what is right in action. But did the US even have a change of heart and turn to live, not on Christian principles and traditions, but on the desire to truly follow God? That I don’t see so much.

We ask God to bless our desires and efforts, and tell him what he should do rather than ask what we should do. The reaction to the last election by many who follow Christ has shown me just how far we have to go. God permitted the new administration to be elected. Stolen or won honestly, he permitted it—just as he permitted Assyrian and Babylonia to conquer Israel. The challenge now is to live as Christ-followers no matter who is in office, or what restrictions may come. That is the history of Christianity in most of history and the world.

So maybe, instead of complaining about it, we need to stop and ask God “WHY?” Not with self- pity, but with a real desire to understand what he is doing in the world today. I don't think it is clear at all--but he can give us clarity if we seek it. As Blackerby teaches--look at what God is doing and then ask him how he would have us join in.

I love the United States. I am proud of the fact that both my father and my son have served as Marines in defending liberty. But I love the world, too. I see just how insulated I was to the suffering of the world, even though I often chose to work in areas of poverty in the US. It is possible to love the country of your birth and still love the world. The kingdom of God goes far beyond the borders of the United States, and I long most to be a good citizen of that kingdom.

In the world but not of the world--HOW?

 

We are told to “be in the world but not of the world.”  True, some are called to withdraw from society to be able to live a life totally dedicated to God.  For most of us, though, the call is to stay in our same communities, jobs, social and political activities and live a life totally dedicated to God in these “worldly” places.  To reveal the presence of Jesus into places where he might not otherwise be recognized. 

 

Though I live on the “mission field,” the truth is that for what most people is “the ends of the earth” has become my “Jerusalem”--my ordinary life, my regular neighborhood.  So, while being a missionary might sound exotic or even romantic, and my “world” might look very different from what it was in the past, the challenge remains the same.  To live in this world but not be attached to it.

 

I have tried many ways to do this, some more successful than others.  Today I realized there is a simple answer:  to “seek first the kingdom of God” and trust him to take care of everything else. To be transformed by the RENEWING of my mind by God's Word and his Spirit. To realize I don't have it all together, and don't have all the answers, and continually (renewing is an active verb) be looking to him to enlighten me--open the eyes of my heart to the truth.

This leads me to live life from a different paradigm—one in which everything is measured by it’s “eternal merit”(a lesson taught to me by one of my favorite pastors). Where every action s evaluated by it's ability to further the Kingdom of God here on earth. It is a life viewed, through a different lens in which everything is filtered through the Holy Spirit as the Spirit of Love.

 

True, God is much more than just love—he is justice and truth.  Too often I try to step in for God and exercise his justice for him, or make others believe the truth as I see it.  (God is absolute truth.  I am aware, though, how often my understanding of His truth is flawed.) I speak boldly and with conviction,  but I do so far outside of the Spirit of Love.  Often it is from fear, frustration or even anger, being disgusted with the way things are going or what others are doing.  

 

Any time, however, I step out of love in speaking the truth, I am of the world.  Any time I try to exercise God’s justice for him (he can do it very well himself, thank you) and take matters into my own hands to try to make people do what I believe is righteous, I am of the world.  Just like Eve in the garden, or Abraham with Hagar, I am telling God that he is not enough, doing enough, or doing it fast enough.

 

This does not mean I adopt a passive stance toward life.  I am still involved in the world—I am in the world.  I show up, am present, in the social, moral, political and familial events of the world.  I am involved in the culture and society in which I live, trying to reveal Jesus’ presence, often in the most difficult and ugly places.  But I am detached from the outcome.  I leave this in the hands of my Father, who does not call me to be successful, but only to be faithful (Thomas Merton).

 

God is present in each moment of our lives, even the most sinful and most difficult.  The problem is that we often fail to recognize him, and seldom respond in a way which acknowledges his presence.  I want to change this in my life.  I will seek first the Kingdom of God, live as a resident of this kingdom, and leave the rest to Him.

 

 

 

 

 

Vultures or eagles

 Vultures or Eagles

For weeks I’ve been watching the birds circling over the mountains as I pray each morning.  They have made me want to soar like eagles.  They reminded me of eagles.

Today, as I sat watching them fly in circles, in organized groups, I came to a horrible realization.  I don’t know if we have eagles in Guatemala, but even if we do, I don’t think they fly in groups, even if the do fly in circles (I really do not know much about eagles).  I was struck between the eyes with the reality of what I was seeing.

Given what I know about Guatemala, the birds that I had been so romantically watching and longing to be like were most probably vultures!  Why had I not known this earlier?

My frame of reference growing up in the Chicago was to look for eagles.  If they were in Chicago, I never saw one, but they were our national bird.  Even the Bible tells us we can soar as on wings of eagles.  My experience had taught me, “See a big bird, think of an eagle.”

Vultures were totally foreign to my life prior to Guatemala.  I remember the first time I saw a flock of vultures scavenging a trash heap on the way to Santa Maria.  I was scared and revolted at the same time.  I actually felt nauseous , though could not bring myself to look away.  Their was something fascinating about these awful creatures.  (I’m sure they do fill some plan in God’s creation, but in my limited experience, they indicated death.  Thank you to the westerns I had watched with my Dad on TV as I was growing up.)

What this experience has taught me is how easily my past experiences and the culture in which I grew up color how I interpret what I see and hear.  It’s almost automatic, and surely was unconscious in this case. I believe this is where prejudices come from.  Our prior experiences cause us to try to construct meaning out of what we see and hear, but we are limited in our ability to interpret the facts correctly because we have only the lens of our personal past through which to view them.

How often do I think something is good and beautiful, only to find out on closer inspection it is ugly and dangerous.  Isn't this what sin is like?

From our human experience and our physical appetites, something can look beautiful and appealing.  Because we are drawn to it, we pursue this desire, thinking we are heading to our best.  Only too late do we realize that what we are seeking is a predator, seeking only to pick over our bones.

This is where God’s commands are designed to protect us.  Because of his perspective which is so much higher and clearer than ours, he can distinguish the vultures from the eagles before we are able to.  He gives us law to put a barrier between us and the vultures, and asks us to trust him not to go closer.

And we must decide.  Will we trust and obey his greater and grander frame of reference to lead us, or will we rely on our own puny perspective to guide us?  The choice is ours.

I pray I am humble enough to make the right one.