Reaching My "Woe Point" (July 25, 2010, Sunday)

Today I listened to the worship service from Westside via the Internet. I was privileged to hear the founding pastor of my home church, Dr. Calvin Miller,  preach this morning. The closest I can come to a sermon title is “Reaching Your Woe Point.” When he first began talking about this, I thought he was going to preach on brokenness. Instead, he preached a sermon on completeness, using 1 Corinthians 9:16-17.

Paul says:

“16Yet when I preach the gospel, I cannot boast, for I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel! 17If I preach voluntarily, I have a reward; if not voluntarily, I am simply discharging the trust committed to me.”

Some of Pastor Miller’s thoughts on this passage follow, primarily the ones that have helped me understand my call to Guatemala. He says, “None of us are worth our salt before God until you can finish the statement, ‘Woe be unto me if I do not. . .’(finish this statement in 25 words or less).” I realized even while he was speaking that in some ways my move to Guatemala was selfish—I would never have been truly content if I did not make this move. I can truly say my life would have become increasingly frustrating if I had remained comfortable in my job at Westside and in my home in Omaha. I could feel the frustration building as I waited to make the move—even as I grieved leaving those I loved. My work at Westside was no longer fulfilling to me in the way it once was. Maybe this is Bill Hybels talks about in his book Holy Discontent. That sometimes God actually uses our restlessness to move us where He want.

Pastor Miller also said: “You need to have a sense of calling on your life. You cannot know this sense of calling until you get to the point of saying ‘Woe be unto me if I do not. . .’” Every time I’ve made a major transition in my life, I think I’ve had this experience. When I came to Westside, I knew I would never again be content working in the schools. Even when I made the move from Preschool Ministry to Care Ministry, I felt as if I was being compelled to make the move. It was more than just the next “logical” step in my ministry career. Without making the move, I was not sure I would still have a career in ministry.

So it has been with this move to Guatemala. If I had not made the move, would God still have used me? I think He would have, for the sake of the people I ministered to. But would I have been in the center of His will for my life? I think not—I think I would have progressively become less of the woman He created me to be. I would not have been obedient to what I know He had called me to next.

Pastor Miller gave me a much needed reminder when he said, “Obedience is more important than performance.” I know this, I’ve taught this, and I forget this. This past week I’d been feeling very inadequate to meet the needs I see. What do I really know about deaf children? What do I really know about best practices in feeding kids with severe disabilities? For that matter, what do I really know about the lives of the women who work at Hermano Pedro? (I believe I have come to minister to the nurses as much as I have to the kids.) I was not feeling overwhelmed (yet), but very inadequate for the task set before me. Calvin reminded me that I don’t have to be the best at what I do (Paul wasn’t necessarily the best preacher) for God to use what I do for His purposes.

Bayron, my first deaf "client"

Bobby, an extremely bright young man, striving for independence, hampered by extremely limited motor skills.  What he lacks in skills, he makes up for in determination.  One of my "heroes."

Melvin, my novio (boyfriend).  Melvin cannot even move

but his eyes speak volumes and his smile lights up the room

So as Paul was compelled to preach the gospel, I am compelled to share the gospel through acts of service and through sharing what skills I do have to improve the lives of the people I serve. This is freeing (since I’m not responsible for the results, only the obedience) and yet an immense responsibility at the same time. I know I would not be true to who I believe God has called me to be if I were not here.

Will I spend the rest of my life here? I hope so. I’ve learned, though, that God can and will change our “compulsions” for the sake of the Kingdom. When I went to work in the Omaha Public Schools, I thought I’d retire from there. When I came to work at Westside, I was sure that was where I would finish out my career. However, looking back I can see how each of these positions was “training” for what I would be doing now. So do I think this is the “great call” on my life? Yes, but I know God well enough to know He can change this any time He wants to. But for now I can say:

Yet when I serve in Guatemala, I cannot boast, for I am compelled to serve. Woe to me if I do not serve here! If I serve voluntarily, I have a reward; if not voluntarily, I am simply discharging the trust committed to me. (1 Cor. 9: 16-17 revised for Guatemala, 2010)