Detours, Rough Roads, and Reaching Our Destinations

A young man who visited Guatemala once told me:
"A road crew here is two men, a pick axe, and a box of rocks!"

Today as I headed out for New Life School, I turned to go down the street I usually take to avoid the city traffic, only to find myself at a street which was closed for repair. (With cobble stone streets, this is not unusual.)  What was unusual, though, is that on my trip up to the village, I hit two more road blocks, including one on the nice road that leads into Santa Maria and required a significant detour.  I was already running late, and this last closure seemed to add insult to injury.  It meant I would have to go about a mile and a half on a dirt rough which probably saw its last maintenance back in the '70's.

Feeling frustrated and discouraged, I prayed, "Why God, when I'm already feeling stretched?"  His immediate answer was "I am with you."  I was so struck by this simple truth that I almost had to stop the car.  I confessed all the subtle ways I try to control my life and humbly surrendered once again to Him.  I quickly recalled a line from my spiritual reading this morning, "When you face unexpected demands, there is no need to panic.  Remember that I am with you.  Talk to Me, and listen while I talk you through each challenging situation." (May 14, Jesus Calling)

So I settled my emotions, and went on, down this really terrible back road that leads into Santa Maria.  Still grumbling a bit in my heart, I looked around.  I was astounded by the amazing beauty I was seeing all around me, which you don't see from the highway.  The mountains, the valleys, the volcanoes were lush and green and full of life.  I was struck anew by the beauty of the fields, with crops growing in stick straight rows which are absolutely parallel--all the while they are on the side of a mountain!  I was wonder-struck the first time I saw them, but had grown accustomed to them.  I decided I would enjoy the scenery as I drove along between 5 and 10 mph! I felt Him saying, "You'll get where you're going, maybe not as fast, and not the way you wanted to go, but you'll get there."

As I drove I reflected on how this was a metaphor for what I had been experiencing in our search for a house.  First, no land to be found in Parramos, which is where I first thought we would go.  Then, finding an almost perfect house a few days before I left for the States, only to have another buyer make an offer I could not match.  Then, weeks later, receiving word that the owner still had not accepted the offer, so we should make another go at it.  Offer accepted.  Problem with the condominium covenants, which the realtor though would eliminate us using the house as a group home.  And this is where I was sitting this morning, as I read, the first two sentences in the devotion I mentioned above.  "I am a mighty God.  Nothing is too difficult for Me."

I reached the school with a new sense of calm and a revived energy level.  I was ready to get to it with the kids before I met with our attorney this afternoon, though I was still fearful of being too optimistic.  Through all of this I really have held this house with open hands, but it's not the house or the lack of it that was getting to me.  It was the uncertainty.  I don't do well with uncertainty, and this whole process has been one huge ambiguity after another.

Somehow (through the grace of God, I know) I have managed to be at peace with everything--right up to receiving the realtor's email questioning whether or not we could use the house for a group home.  It has taken conscious, continuous effort to maintain peace and joy for the last 24 hours.  I realized that I had been willing myself to be peaceful and joyful.  While not a bad thing, it's quite a strain on the emotions.  After hearing God speak to me through the situations in which I found myself today, I was once again able to fall into His arms in "holy confidence and humble dependence" (I read this in another devotion this morning) and it felt wonderful.

(Not to keep you in suspense, the meeting with the attorney went splendidly.  We are considered a "family" under Guatemalan law and, while I can't run a school or community center out of the house, it is will within the guidelines of the condominium association to use it for a community home!  Yeah God!  But that's another story. . .)