The Way of the Arrogant

Today as I was studying Ps. 119, God brought my attention to the attributes of the arrogant.  And I felt convicted.

The traits I identified were the following: 

·            They do whatever they need to do to prosper, even at the expense of others who are more vulnerable.  They defy God’s law if it benefits them.

·            They seek to satisfy their flesh, looking to feed their own appetites and satisfy their greed, even if it means ignoring the needs of others.

·            They are a law unto themselves.  They don’t see the need for God, or respect Him or His commands.

In short, they feel comfortable in the world, at home with its values.  They have a million justifications for why they live as they do, especially when they ignore God’s direction.

I immediately saw parallels to the (claiming to be) Christian church in America.  But God quickly brought be up short.  “Take the plank out of your own eye.”  I realized I needed to examine my own heart before looking at anyone else.  And if and when I address the Church, it needs to be out of recognition of my own sinfulness, not out of arrogance and anger.

It may seem strange that I, a missionary could be guilty of arrogance, but I think it is an ever present danger in our “profession.” So many people tell us how wonderful we are on a regular basis that we risk starting to believe our own publicity.  I am not amazing.  God is. And if anything is amazing, it’s that He choses to let me be a part of what He is doing. 

It is a constant temptation, too, to do what I think needs to be done.  To follow the needs rather than God’s direction.  How can meeting needs be against God’s will?  It easily can.  Oswald Chambers tells us, “The need is not the call.”  We can try to convince ourselves it is, but the enemy can use needs to distract us from what God calls us to do. When I am need-driven rather than God led, I become a law unto myself.

I constantly need to check to see if in facing a need, I am responding with what God would have me do, or trying to ease my own discomfort in the situation (my appetites).  I have to examine my motives to see if I am acting out of obedience, or from wanting more adventure and excitement in my life.  The mission field can easily turn one into an “adrenaline junkie” because we do get to experience so many actual miracles, but that’s not why we’re here. We are here to do God’s will; no more, no less.

I may even convince myself that, of course God would want me to do a certain thing, because it is a need.  But God may be calling someone else to meet that need and when I jump in and do something I am not called to do, I cheat the person who is called.  I give them an excuse not to respond to God’s call on their lives.

One way I am tempted to do this is, when there seems to be a short-fall of money, immediately jumping in with my small retirement savings to fill in the gap.  My Board is challenging me to let people know there is a need, while not pressuring or expecting them to do anything more than pray with me that the need will be met. God may want me to meet the need through my personal funds, but He needs to show me that (after all, why would I ask others to contribute to something I am not willing to support financially myself?). But I may be robbing someone who is led to meet the shortfall, by not even making the need known.  Ah, but I can do it myself.  (I have no need for God; I am self-sufficient.)

I confess my own arrogance. I confess my arrogance when I think I, because I am educated and from the US, know better how to address a situation than a Guatemalan national would.  I confess my arrogance when I feel the need to immediately rescue someone from their struggles, rather than looking for what God might be doing in the midst of their situation.

I confess my temptations to share stories which expose the lives of those I serve without their permission and without regard for their privacy.

I confess the temptation to share a story because it will “bring in donations” rather than to help others see what God can is is doing in our midst.

I confess my arrogance when I wish God had called me to a ministry that was more exciting and attractive, because that would make fund-raising so much easier if there were more “emotional appeal” to what I am doing. (Seeing prosperity)

I repent of my self-sufficiency, of my desire for security, and the temptation to make a name for myself when all I should desire is to make His Name known to men. 

Please pray for me, and I give you permission to hold me accountable in these areas.

Sidenote:

Many of you may not know, but MY first plan to come to the mission field was to wait until I reached full retirement age, get my retirement and Social Security, and come to Guatemala as a completely independent missionary.  Not having to rely on God or anyone else to be able to do what God called me to do. 

You can see how that worked out.  God has provided in so many impossible ways to meet all our needs, and I would have cheated our donors out of the opportunity to be obedient in their giving.  I also would have cheated myself out of the opportunity to see that God will do more than I can ask or imagine if I obey Him. By the way, I would just now, this year, be coming to the mission field if God had not asked me to surrender my plan to His.