Guatemalan Journey: A Good Word for 2023

At the end of every year I ask God for a word which will carry his message to me through the coming year. Often it is is beautiful, descriptive word. This year He has somewhat surprised me (though looking back on my writings I don't know why I'm surprised) with a short yet very sweet word, "Yes."

"Yes" to Him and all He sends my way in 2023. "Yes" to being fully present to the people He sends into my life in the coming year. "Yes" to surrendering all that I am, each and every day, to His presence and His purpose.

While all of this sounds very "holy," in reality it is terrifying if I let myself think about it. I often joke that if God had told me in 2010 what I would be doing in 2022, I would have told him, "No thank you. Send someone else." My joking, however, often reveals my fears and insecurities. Sadly, I'm afraid, even as I joke about this, in my heart I have to acknowledge the kernel of truth hidden here.

This life God has chosen for me is more challenging than I would have chosen for myself. There are great joys in what He has called me to do, but there are things that are difficult as well.

Living far from family is one of the most difficult, as I watch my grandchildren grow and see my children's lives moving on without me. Don't get me wrong. They welcome me into their lives when I am there, but it is hard when I'm not to keep up on what is going on. It is even harder to support them as I would like. It seems, rather than getting easier as time goes on, it is harder as I realize what I am missing.

If I'm honest, I have to admit I find running a ministry, doing all the administrative stuff, difficult and somewhat uninteresting. I have the heart of a teacher, of a discipler, and often am at a loss as to how to lead well those who God has entrusted to me, both residents and staff. Managing finances and fund raising are well outside the scope of my natural abilities, and present daily challenges as I try to find better ways to manage the resources God has given us, particularly in the context of an ever increasing cost of living.

It is in these challenges, in these areas where my natural abilities do not suffice, that I find God the most. He has put together an amazing team to back me up, both in our Board in the US and the staff we employ here in Guatemala. He has brought residents to us who have become my second family. Finally, I have friends and supporters in two countries who encourage me and hold me up in prayer. None of these things I could do on my own. I know He is faithful.