Well, I'm back to work, hitting the ground running as it seems. I am so grateful God has called me to this church and this ministry. Each time I go away, I realize how much I miss the people I work with and those in our congregation. While I know I'm not indispensible, it is nice to feel that I am missed, and make a contribution. It's even nicer, though, to know that my lay leaders can keep the ministries running well without me!
Have spent a lot of time the past few days reflecting on "God's will" for my life. I used to think that God had this master plan, and, if I deviated from it, boy, was I in trouble. Am seeing now that God's will for me is reflected in a series of invitations--to join Him in what He is doing. This may be in Omaha, Guatemala, or some other place. But always, an invitation. And if I miss one, through inattention or selfishness, He is faithful to issue another. And each invitation has its own series of blessings that come with accepting it.
Guess you could say I now believe my life with God is more of a dance, with Him leading, than a forced march with Him commanding. Wonder if this is what Paul meant when he said, "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive." (1Cor. 10:23) Responding to some invitations will "build" me into the woman God intended me to be from all eternity, will help me live from my "good" heart. The will of God in my life, then, is to accept those invitations which are from Him, beneficial and constructive. And, when I blow it, miss the mark, fall short--He gently corrects my steps, all the while holding me tightly in His arms. He is determined to finish what He has started, transforming me into the very image of Jesus Himself.
How all this pertains to moving to Guatemala is becoming clearer. God has given me a ministry in Omaha which I love, and am fairly good at. I can choose to stay here, play it safe and secure, and still be privileged to serve Him. On the other hand, He has offered an invitation to risk, to trust Him ruthlessly, to serve Him in Guatemala, and to experience new and different blessings. Each is good, but I believe one is best--to risk and trust Him. Not something I've very good at--I'm willing to serve but really like knowing I can take care of myself if I have to. Isn't that just the height of illusion? In taking this leap, I will come to know Him in different and deeper ways. In doing this, I need to be prepared for the next invitation He issues and face the future without fear. In 1 Cor. 6:12, Paul again reminds me, "'Everything is permissible for me'—but I will not be mastered by anything." So, Father, once again I surrender my fear, my tendency to control, my desire for earthly security. And I recognize, once again, that you will meet my desire for security, not with a counterfeit, tangible security, but with the eternal security of knowing I am held in the palm of Your hand!
This morning I had breakfast with Dave Penner, president of the Josiah Foundation, and Mike Wenig, its treasurer. One step in the direction of risk. God's reassurance, through the support of these two good friends that this risk is not foolhardy. As we talked of my trip and my plans for the future, I actually felt, maybe for the first time, "This really IS going to happen!" As we began to talk the nuts and bolts of my going to Guatemala under the Josiah Foundation, I was humbled at the faith the board is placing in the vision I believe God has given me.
An added blessing is that both Mike and Dave have been to Guatemala. Dave and I have served on the same short-term teams a couple of times. In fact, we were together on my first trip to GT. Mike prayed with our team in preparation for our second trip. Mike and Dave also made a trip down last January. So when I talk with them about people and places and ideas and activities, their experience and insight is most helpful. And their excitement at what God is doing matches my own. It is very clear to me that God has purposely orchestrated these events to help provide me with encouragement and direction as I move forward. Looking back, it all seems almost impossible how things have fallen in place. But isn't it just like our God to do the impossible?
I can't wait to see what impossible things God will do next!
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A more-than-middle-aged mom of four, moving to Central America. . .as my kids say, "What's up with that?" I invite you to travel with me as I attempt to understand the movement of God in my heart and in my life. It promises to be quite a ride!
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