When I wrote "Unexpected Blessings" I was excited to see God moving, but inwardly was resigning myself to "this is as good as it gets." Today I know that to be a lie. Cuz it keeps getting better.
My heart has been longing to visit Guatemala again, to see my families and friends there, but most especially the children at Hermano Pedro. I'd thought of all the reasons why I shouldn't waste money and time to go there when I'll be moving soon. But every time I had contact with someone down there, I'd walk away sad for hours afterwards. (So much for learning to listen to my heart!) I just couldn't believe God would want me to go just because I longed to be there. (Do I REALLY believe He is good?) I even had a young woman from church almost begging me to take her down over Easter, and I managed to convince myself this was frivolous. (Sure, I asked God about this, and immediately would begin telling Him why this was NOT a good idea.) I keep talking about learning to live from my heart, and then I do everything I can, usually unconsiously, to disconnect from my desires. Calling them selfish, unholy, frivolous, I could go on and on. . .
Oh, but how I have a God who pursues my heart!
Last Friday I met with a young man from church, a junior at a private high school here in Omaha, who I'd kinda known as he was growing up, but really hadn't talked to in years. (~Isn't it sad we worship in the same church each Sunday?~) His mom had contacted me because he'd been assigned a topic in his social justice class that he thought maybe I might know something about: the effect of poverty on children in Guatemala! Sure, when I got the email, I did thank God for this little surprise, but little did I know what He had in store.
As we talked, Cameron shared that he had to do service hours relating to this topic as part of his project. After giving him a couple of ideas (which I inwardly thought were pretty lame) I said, without really thinking, "Too bad we can't go to Guatemala over Easter. Then you could meet and serve the kids directly." His face lit up, and I found myself telling him how Kristen wanted to go, too, over her break. That if he was really interested, why didn't he talk to his folks about it and get back to me. Inwardly I'm thinking, "not gonna happen," but the words kept coming out of my mouth. (Okay, friends, no sarcasm here. This time I think it might have been the Holy Spirit rather than my own foolishness.)
I really wasn't expecting anything to come of this, but was pleasantly surprised to find an email from him Sunday morning saying, "My parents said okay. What do we do next?" So we were off and running, and I still am. . .Called Kristen to let her know we were going, and see what her parents thought about her coming with us. Contacted our travel agent re. fares. Finally started praying, asking God what He might be doing here. (Tara, if you're reading this, it feel so much like when God "told" you to join me on my "vacation" to Guatemala a couple years ago!)
So, as it stands now, Cameron and I are going. Kristen and her parents are praying. Another young lady (who I've longed to take with me on a trip down there for years) is prayerfully considering going. And I'm sitting worrying about plane fares going up, the congestion in Antigua during Holy Week, and anything else that can distract my ungrateful mind and heart from the joy of the gift God is giving me here.
It just so happens that each of these kids already has a passport. It just so happens that if I could have hand-picked 3 young people to travel with, I couldn't have found any better. It just so happened that the same day I met with Cameron, I received an email from Mari, the mother of "my" Guatemalan family, asking if there was any way I could come down for Holy Week. It just so happened that a young girl I know in Guatemala just joined facebook Sunday, and managed to find me on there an contact me. It just so happens that maybe God is in this, and had to work really hard to get through to me this time.
My excitement is building, my anticipation is growing: just what is God up to here? And as I write this, I realize He is always up to something, I just don't look for it very often. I forget about Him being with me in the midst of my routine and responsibility! Oh, Father forgive me for trying to live life on my own. Forgive me for settling for surviving when you, Jesus, offer me life abundantly. Forgive me, Holy Spirit, for making you work so hard to get my attention. Give me eyes to see, ears to hear, a will to respond, and a heart that is open to receiving EVERYTHING you offer me.
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