Lunch with Doña Mati

While most of what I do at Hermano Pedro involves the children’s area, I have gotten to be friends with some of the older folks who also call Obras Sociales “home.”  (They house approx. 120 children and an equal number of adults.)

One of my all time favorites is Doña Matilda (Mati to her friends).  This lady has suffered a stroke which has left the right side of her body paralyzed, but her mind is still sharp as a tack!  I have known her over a year now, having met her when she was sitting out in front of the orphanage in her power wheelchair.

When describing her, the first word that comes to mind is elegant.  Though she wears donated clothes, has an institutional hair cut, and few of her own possessions, she emits a serenity and peace that has drawn me to her.  This month, for the first time, I was able to take her out to lunch with the help of Alejandro (Leo’s grandson) and Mari Estelle (Mari’s daughter).  Mari joined us to round out the foursome.

After completing the required paperwork, I looked all around the older women’s unit and couldn’t find Doña Mati.  I finally discovered her in the corner of one of the dormitories, primping like a young girl going out on a date.  The nurses said she had been excited all morning, getting ready for our outing.  Though we were actually a few minutes early, my heart broke when she softly said, “I was afraid you’d forget me.”  I assured I had not, that in fact I had brought some of my Guatemalan “family” with to meet her!

While she had the opportunity to chose anywhere in Antigua to eat, she selected Pollo Campero.  As we walked there through the park, Doña Mati came alive, in much the same way I see the kids blossom when they go out.  She shared that she has only gotten to leave Hermano Pedro once or twice a year since coming there to live.

After her stroke, her daughter didn’t feel she could care for her, and brought her to Hermano Pedro.  Unfortunately, her daughter is worried that if she comes to see her mother, the institution will ask her to pay for her care (not true), so Doña Mati hasn’t seen her daughter since the day she arrived.  She also has a sister who lives in Guatemala City, but never visits her.  So she is quite alone.

During lunch she told some of her story, and I discovered she had been a cook and housekeeper for a number of Americans in the past.  She said she wishes she could still cook now. 

As we visited, I watched a friendship begin between her and Mari, who loves cooking more than anything.  They chattered on like two schoolgirls about their recipes and experiences with Americans.  I had secretly hoped this would happen when I invited Mari to join us, and was happy to see the friendship unfolding.  Mari has promised to return to see Doña Mati on Sundays, as her church is just down the street from Hermano Pedro.

As we walked back to Hermano Pedro, it was almost as if I could see the energy draining out of Doña Matilda.  While she had enjoyed her time with us, it was hard for her to return to institutional living.  She helped me understand a bit more how even the best institution cannot hold a candle to a home setting. 

And I realized that just as our children need attention and stimulation, the older folks need companionship and activity, also.  Many volunteers come for the children.  Few are willing to spend time with the adults.  I pray God will send more helpers with a passion for the elderly to work alongside us. . .for a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime.