A visit to Rony’s family, March 27

 
Dick looking at a picture of Rony
with his brothers, Herlindo & Dovan

Today started very early when the "tree man" arrived at 5:30 to trim the tree that has been scraping against my roof and sounding like someone trying to get into the house.  This was my first experience in tree-trimming here in Guatemala and it was quite interesting.




In previous journals, I've described Antigua road crews as two men, a pick-axe, and a box of rocks.  Today I discovered that tree-trimming crews are similar: one man, a rake and a machete.  I have to admit that I enjoyed watching this process so much that it was almost worth getting up early to let the tree trimmer in.

Shortly after he finished, Dick came to pick me up to travel to visit Rony's family in Cerro Colorado.  Dane Underwood, from Omaha, is visiting here, and came with us, along with five of Dick's boys. 

Dane with some of Dick’s boys

We wanted to visit this family whose son, Rony, died a couple months ago from Muscular Dystrophy, and see how they were all doing.  We were especially concerned about Herlindo, age 8, who Mom said had not been feeling well.  While we recognized that this was Sunday, and we would not be able to manage both church and the visit, we also knew if we did not go today we would not make it out for a while.  This was one of those times when we decided it was more important to BE the church than go to church.  And we were off.

We had not told the family we were coming, so our arrival was somewhat of a surprise.  Mom, baby, and Clara were off selling limones (limes), but we were able to visit with the Dad and the rest of the kids.  Dad was quite concerned about Herlindo, saying he was not eating, sleeping, had fevers, and complained of muscle aches. A local doctor had diagnosed him as anemic and low in calcium.  His parents were not so sure, though, that this was all that was ailing him. In front of him, Dad repeatedly expressed his fear that Herlindo was developing the same symptoms as Rony had at the same age.  Each time he said this, you could see Herlindo "shrink" a little and become more withdrawn.  Dick and I were concerned about the lethargy of this little one who usually is going a mile a minute.  All he wanted to do was lie on Dick's lap.



We also discovered that both Devon and Claudia, two of the younger children, were covered in scabby spots.  Dick said that a few years earlier, Claudia had had the same problem and it was from the contaminated water.  Dad agreed that this was the case, but when we discussed solutions, I once again experienced cultures colliding.

Dad was focused on the need to dig a new well, because tree roots had grown into the current one and was contaminating the water.  When we talked about using a water filter (they had been given one previously), Dad was convinced that this wouldn't do any good. . .a new well would be better.  This family, like so many others we have visited recently, does not understand the importance of using pure water consistently.  They may buy bottled water one day, and drink from the polluted well the next, not realizing that it only takes a teaspoonful of contaminated water to cause problems. 

I was curious to see the condition of their water filter, and two of the kids and I began the search.  We finally found it stuck between the pila (cement outdoor sink) and the house, and try as we could, we were not able to reach it.  It was obvious, though, that the filter had not been used for a long time.  Dick and I briefly discussed the possibility of giving them a new filter, but quickly reached the conclusion that, until they realize the value of pure water and ask for a filter, there was not point in giving another one that would not be used.

We also reminded Dad that antibiotics had helped Claudia when she had had these skin eruptions the last time, but he was opposed to using them this time.  He was convinced that they were too strong, and when we reminded him of how they helped Claudia, he agreed she could take them, but only until the spots were gone, not for the full course of antibiotic treatment.  Hearing this we decided to let their bodies fight the problem with their own resources.

If it sounds like I'm criticizing this father, I really don't mean to.  I'm writing this more to reflect on the difference in our world views than to maintain that I know better than he does what his children need.  It strikes me once again how "scientifically oriented" we Americans are, how we often trust science and technology more than our own guts or experiences, as Dad does.  It also made me realize, once again, how American I am in my attitudes.

At one point, Dane said something along the lines of, "we need to do something if these parents are going to be irresponsible."  That "brought me to my senses" in terms of what I was thinking and feeling.  This family is really one of the most functional and loving ones we work with.  Dad works hard in the sugar cane fields to provide for them.  Mom clearly loves her children.  They welcome us unconditionally into their hearts and homes each time we visit.  They are NOT irresponsible, but they are Guatemalan.  Their worldview and their way of addressing problems is different from ours. 

I needed to be reminded of that.  While I have learned not to push my values and ideas on the people I serve, I still look constantly for ways to convince them that my way is best.  How can I make them understand that pure water and filters are necessary for the health of their children?  How can I help them understand you need to take all the prescribed antibiotic? And I approach these issues from my American mindset, using my American logic to construct American arguments.  And Dick reminded me, kids here often get well inspite of us. . .

I'm not suggesting that we never say anything and leave everything as we find it.  If that were my belief, I shouldn't be here.  But I am suggesting that, even in the so-called "secular" areas of our ministry, I need to speak the truth in love, and let the Holy Spirit do the rest.  When directly addressing spiritual matters, it's so easy to remember to let God speak through me.  Now I must learn that, even when it comes to matters of everyday living, I must listen for His voice and share as He leads, not relying so much on my own wisdom.

Did I say or do anything wrong in this situation?  I really don't think so.  I know how to be "politically correct" as a missionary by now.  But that's not the issue.  The issue is the attitude of my heart in sharing the truth, and, I have to confess, in this situation, my attitude left a little bit to be desired. 

Forgive me, Father, and heal my heart.  Help me to remember my first and only responsibility is to follow You and bring Your love to this family and all I meet.  Help me get out of Your way.